6.30.2015

Finding time for myself, and also myself

Summer has come and while it can't be everything I had dreamed of, it's going well overall.

I have such a history of imagining that I will get so much done, be so productive, get so much time benefit when I have time off. Even when I was younger, I would imagine catching up on tons of work and fun activities that had been pushed aside for the daily grind. Does it ever happen? Of course not. I should know better by now.

It's really hard for me to balance my over-ambition with any kind of realism of what might actually happen. I don't want to not aspire to do things because that is also not a healthy spot for me, I need at least a little direction. But I get really frustrated at not meeting these arbitrary hoped for accomplishments. 

I continue to struggle with balancing parenting and other endeavors, but I think there has been some progress made. Yesterday, I realized that I could do some stretching and pseudo yoga while my son was watching his "one Mickey" of the day. Hopefully this is a habit that can be continued so that I finally find time to exercise without feeling like I need a sitter or that I'm missing out on time with him. 

I brought home a magazine file full of articles and research to read which hasn't been opened yet. I have a drawer full of books from last summer and collected over the year that are still unread. I made my first trip to our gorgeous new (2013... cough) library and walked out with 3 books of 400+ pages. How many books have I read since last summer's vacation? One. One measly, not even good, blog turned book of about 200 pages. 

I periodically envision myself as a crafty person, able to create and make various items. At times, I even fancy myself a writer, though probably much less than any readers might think. But too frequently, I am distracted by other things that need done, things from that urgent & unimportant category. And then I fail to come back around to these projects.

I really am trying to be involved in more ventures to fill my inner tank that is so often depleted by the therapeutic use of self on a daily basis. I need to move away from TV, mindless social media browsing, and reading of inconsequential articles. 

I am still trying to work in my OT ventures into my down time without either taking over. Barring disaster, I will have a highly complicated and not at all about handwriting post on the blog Handwriting With Katherine, and I will be leading an #OTalk2US in September on school system practice with severe or complex disabilities. But hopefully my summer will be at least a fraction of what I imagine, and yours will be too. :)